Announce Your Weapons After You Use Them
by adorestories
Summary: alternate one-shot to Family Trouble. What if Vector hadn't changed at all? What would Lucy do when he showed up?


**Hi, guys! I just thought this was a cute 'what if' kind of thing. I hope you enjoy!**

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Lucy sat on the couch in the living room, braiding Agnes' hair. Her own fiery red hair was in its usual bun, and she was dressed in simple jeans and a blue top. Light blue was Gru's favorite color on her, and she enjoyed the way he watched her when she wore it.

Lucy brushed some loose hair off of Agnes' neck and she giggled. "That tickles," she said. Lucy smiled at her daughter. She loved saying things like that. Her youngest daughter. Her other daughters. Her family. Her husband. Her Gru.

Lucy had only been married for a few months, but she had been eagerly accepted as everyone's mother, even the minions'. Of course, it helped that the girls had practically set Lucy up to be Gru's wife from the day they met her.

Lucy tied off Agnes' braid. "And there you are," she said proudly. Agnes jumped up and hugged her. "Thanks, Momma! I'm gonna go show Margo and Edith!" The little girl grabbed her stuffed unicorn and skipped out of the room. Lucy smiled as she left. She had heard how Agnes got the toy, and she thought it was adorable how she took it everywhere.

As lost in thought as she was, Lucy almost didn't hear the doorbell ring. "I got it, Gru!" She shouted. He had installed an audio link in every room in the house so that he could always know what was happening. Unfortunately, you had to shout for the devices to pick up your voice, but Gru was working on that. Maybe he was being over-protective, but Lucy thought it was cute.

Lucy walked happily to the door, wondering who it could be. It was Saturday, so really, it could be anyone. She opened the door with a smile that quickly faded. Standing on the porch was a ridiculous looking man with large square glasses and wearing... orange pajamas?

"Who're you?" He asked, obviously confused. Lucy knew who this guy was, and according to Gru, he was no threat. "I'm Lucy," she said. "Gru's wife."

Vector immediately burst out laughing. "Gru, married? Yeah, right!" He seemed like he wanted to go on, but was laughing too hard. Lucy crossed her arms and waited for him to finish.

Finally, he straightened up and cleared his throat. "I'm Vector," he announced, like she didn't know that already. "I'm here for revenge! Oh, yeah!" He did a weird dance that totally freaked Lucy out, but she stayed where she was. Vector suddenly pulled a strange gun on her. "Squid launcher, oh yeah!"

Lucy didn't really know how to react to that, so she slammed the door in his face. A second later, she heard a thud, and guessed that Vector had shot a squid at her.

Lucy opened the door again and saw that yes, he had indeed launched a squid, and it was now stuck to the door. Vector was preoccupied with trying to reload his weapon, and didn't notice Lucy. "Stupid squid," he muttered.

Lucy tapped his shoulder. "In the future, you might wanna announce your weapons _after_ you use them, Vector. Like this." She pulled something out of her coat, which was hanging next to the door. Lucy aimed it at Vector and watched as his muscles spasmed and he made weird noises. "Lipstick taser!" She cried happily.

Vector fell over and hit the ground, already unconscious. "Aw, it worked even better than last time," she said fondly.

Suddenly Lucy heard Gru's voice from one of the many speakers. "Lucy, who is it?" He asked. Lucy grinned. "Just Vector," she yelled as she came back into the house. "Don't worry, I took care of him!" She couldn't hear his response, but she imagined it was pretty funny.

By the time Lucy returned to the living room, Gru was already there. 'Man, he must've booked it,' she thought. "Where is he?" Gru asked. Lucy pointed to the front door. "On the porch," she said nonchalantly. "I kinda tasered him." She couldn't keep a straight face anymore and started to laugh. Gru joined in and gave her a hug. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He asked.

Lucy shugged. "Once or twice. Aren't you gonna go get Vector?" She inquired. Gru shook his head. "Nah. I gave the girls some handcuffs and told them he was sleeping on the front porch. I know Edith has been dying to show him her new ninja skills." Lucy laughed happily. She loved her family.

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**So I think this is how the story would've ended if Vector was in character and Lucy was her normal kickbutt self. Yay Grucy!**


End file.
